


Holding my hand in the pale gloom

by toughluckbuddy



Series: Strangeness & Charm [8]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Blink-and-you-miss-it sex scene, M/M, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 18:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19408780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toughluckbuddy/pseuds/toughluckbuddy
Summary: Tobirama wiped his forehead with a sigh of defeat. “I don’t think the Jeep will start again.”





	Holding my hand in the pale gloom

**Author's Note:**

> For the rarepair bingo prompts: post-apocalypse/distopian - Tobirama - Kagami
> 
> Title from Breaking Down by Florence & the Machine

Tobirama wiped his forehead with a sigh of defeat. “I don’t think the Jeep will start again.”

Danzo and Hiruzen looked at each other. “What do we do now?” Danzo asked, and there was a note of worry in his voice that Kagami never thought he would ever hear.

“Find shelter for the night,” Tobirama said, and Kagami straightened up determinedly.

“I think I saw a path leading away from the main road earlier. Maybe we should go back and try that,” he said.

Tobirama smiled at him, tired and grateful, and nodded. “Good idea.”

“Let’s grab the supplies from the trunk then,” Hiruzen said, and they spent the next few minutes stuffing the backpacks they generally used when scouting with all the canned food, water bottles and camping gear they had accumulated along the way.

Walking away from the Jeep was hard. It had been there since the beginning, before that even, back when they were just grad students and their professor going away for a few months to gather data up at the observatory. Kagami remembered the road-trip, Hiruzen and Danzo arguing about country music in the backseat, him trying not to blush too much upon seeing Tobirama in a tank top instead of his usual shirt and tie.

He took all the CDs from the glove compartment and tried not to look back.

***

The sun was setting when they arrived at what looked to be an abandoned motel. It was deep enough in the forest that they couldn’t see the main road at all anymore.

“What a shithole,” Danzo said, looking around the dusty little lobby, and Tobirama shushed him.

They searched all the rooms one by one, and each time they entered a new one Kagami felt like his heart was about to explode. They hadn’t encountered too many of the… things – they had refused to name them, and avoided talking about them altogether – but he could still feel the grip of one of their hands on his arm when they had tried to grab him once, before Tobirama had hacked at it with his machete.

“I think we’re alone,” Tobirama finally said after half an hour, and Kagami closed his eyes for a few seconds, feeling the tight grip he had on his baseball bat slackening.

“Should we pick rooms then, Professor?” Hiruzen asked with some enthusiasm – they hadn’t had anything resembling real beds in a long while – and Tobirama nodded. “Not too far from the entrance,” he said.

Kagami and Hiruzen went down the right hallway while Tobirama and Danzo were barricading the doors and Kagami said “I think you can stop calling him Professor, you know.”

Hiruzen gave him a sideway look and entered the third door they passed. He threw himself on the double bed with a sigh of contentment, unbothered by the dust. “We all have our coping mechanisms,” he said, his eyes closed. “Mine is pretending he knows what he’s doing.”

“He does, though. More than us.”

“Maybe. And maybe you should stop being so cautious and sleep with him already.” Hiruzen opened one eye to watch Kagami’s frown. “It’s the end of the world!” he said. “Do what you want. It’s not against the rules anymore and I’m pretty sure he needs it as much as you.”

“That’s not…” Kagami started to say, but he shook his head and left the room instead.

No matter what Hiruzen said, the apocalypse was no place for a crush.

***

“Is it weird that I’m not tired of beef jerky yet?” Kagami asked, looking at his food contemplatively.

“Lucky you,” Tobirama said, trying and failing to hide a grimace of disgust at his own ration.

They were eating at the front desk, and though the electricity had been cut off, they had found candles in a drawer, making the lobby look eerie but also almost nice, like a cozy campfire. Danzo and Hiruzen were bickering again and Tobirama threw an amused look at Kagami, who grinned back. They were a group of four people, but they were also two and two, more often than not, and Hiruzen and Danzo had been best friends since freshman year.

“I think I’ll try to get a full night sleep for once,” Tobirama said after dinner, though his red eyes were as alert as ever when he looked the windows and doors over one last time to check for openings they might have missed. “We should regroup tomorrow morning, figure out what to do next.”

Hiruzen murmured an agreement, already looking lost in thoughts about their possible options – they didn’t have that many – and Danzo offered to sleep in the lobby.

“You don’t have to,” Tobirama said.

“I just want to be able to hear what’s going on outside,” Danzo shrugged. “Just in case.”

The mostly-comfortable mood of their dinner had changed in just a few sentences and they were all back in the survival mode they barely left anymore. Kagami blew out all but one of the candles a little regretfully, handing the remaining one to Danzo, and left him there with a muttered goodnight, following Hiruzen and Tobirama down the hallway and picking out an empty bedroom at random.

***

His mattress wasn’t bad, and he was cursing himself for his inability to enjoy it and _sleep_ when he heard a knock on the door.

“Yeah?” he said.

Tobirama’s head peeked in, looking ghostly above the candle he was holding. “Were you asleep?”

Kagami sat up, squinting, still under the blanket. “No. What’s going on?”

Tobirama opened his mouth and closed it, hesitating. Kagami raised an eyebrow. That was new.

“Being alone feels a little… off, right now,” he finally said. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.”

He sat on the bed next to Kagami, who felt very incongruous about it. “Were you missing Hiruzen’s snoring?” he asked. They were used to sleeping in close quarters, most often in the car they had left behind.

“I can hear him from my bedroom, actually.” Kagami laughed. “No, I was thinking about my research, and how we had to leave everything at the observatory. I know it’s stupid but…”

“I don’t think it’s stupid,” Kagami said. “I’m still mad about it too.”

It was better than to dwell on the unknown fate of their friends and family, after all.

“What would you have done, after your degree?” Tobirama asked. He was still holding the candle and he was beautiful, pale and tired, looking at Kagami with a softness that was entirely new.

“I was going to ask you out,” Kagami blurted out before he could stop himself.

Tobirama looked taken aback. “What?”

“When we got back from the observatory. I was going to wait a few weeks for you not to be my professor anymore and then I was going to ask you out.”

It felt weird to say it out loud now, like talking about another person instead of himself, someone who was concerned about university rules and the way his hair looked.

(His hair was a mess all the time now.)

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” Tobirama said, in a serious voice that was almost the one he used during lectures, his inquisitive gaze trying to catch Kagami’s.

Kagami shrugged a little. “I still do.” More so now, even, but it was all confusing, mixed with gratitude, desperation and hero-worship.

“I would’ve said no,” Tobirama said, and it hurt a little, but wasn’t a surprise. “But I would’ve kicked myself for weeks,” he added, and Kagami looked up.

_I’m pretty sure he needs it as much as you_ , Hiruzen had said, and watching him now, the fervent way he was looking at Kagami, the sadness in his eyes, Kagami could maybe believe it.

“Let me blow the candle out or we’ll set the room on fire,” he said, and they kissed in the dark, clutching at each other hard, moving together gracelessly, and Kagami felt regret at the thought of what it could’ve been instead of this, crying out all the same as he came, Tobirama blindly stroking his cheek.

They could both sleep, afterwards, and when they woke up a bit of daylight was filtering through the boarded up windows and their hands were touching.


End file.
